At this point life as I’m transitioning into a space and hopefully elevating to a new platform, I’m beginning to think critically about what I value. The thing that I’m learning to value most is me.
This past weekend I was talking to someone about how they were contemplating committing suicide and what drove her to that point. One thing she highlighted was that she was involved and invested in alot of hurtships. She was surrounded by “friends” that knew some of insecurities and secrets and would occassion poke at these sores in a joking manner. Even though they hurt, she laughed along for the sake of a good time. Each chuckle was slowly eating at her though. A reminder of something she hasn’t quite healed from or an issue she hasn’t come to terms with. Each chuckle was driving her into a dark space.
As I’m talking to her I’m thinking I’m so glad I don’t have friends like that. Chuckles. I learned once that silence is the background of all thought and recently I’ve had some reflective space. I actually do have some of those hurtships. For me, I’ve noticed the subtle critiques of my life from friends. The sly reads that just slip into conversations. Its like where did this come from? You clearly have some thoughts about my life because it all just flowed too easily out of mouth. You’ve been thinking about this… And I thought we were better friends than that. I would hope you could tell me anything. All shit talking is rooted in some truth. Tell me how you really feel.
How could the people that I trust most and try to be so careful with their feelings be so reckless with mine? Even when I address it the response is to not be so sensitive (chuckles). If I didn’t have any demons to answer to it wouldn’t be a problem (chuckles). Stop being so dramatic (chuckles). The one that really got me was “you don’t even keep it 100” (chuckles). Lets think about that for a minute. What does that really mean? Anything less would insinuate some level of fakeness… But were friends right so why would I ever be fake with you, emphasis on you. Our friendship should always be 100 and tge second you think otherwise I should be the first to know! Luckily im in a good place in life or those response could have put me in the same position as the lady I was talking to. Love yourself people and the rest will follow.
My point is ladies and gentlemen just be careful how you antagonize your friends. You’re supposed to be there to uplift them not tear them down. When they tell you about their concerns be open and don’t let your defenses get the best of you. Mental health is a serious issue in the Black community and it goes unaddressed because were too busy politicking to see who has bigger balls smh. In that process we push people to mask their problems under the guise of not being “too sensitive”.
Let’s end our Hurtships…
I’ve acted like an entitled fuck… Now I have to correct my mistakes and keep pressing on. Success will be reached…
Jeff Shesol, a former speechwriter for President Clinton, explains why the State of the Union address is in need of fixing: http://nyr.kr/1n86nga
“The most common complaint is that it is a laundry list, which is an insult to laundry lists. It is more a laundry bag, a sort of national hamper, into which rumpled articles are stuffed.”
Washington is buzzing today due to the address. Political climate is intense right now. #Scandal